Goblin Wizard

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Goblin wizard is a title given to apprentices and wizards who have low to no standards for the sanity and cleanliness of their living environment and body. Maintaining a messy, junk-riddled, or even biologically hazardous environment may be an objective of the goblin wizard, or a wizard may be in a goblin situation against their greater will (a bout of severe depression may prevent an otherwise clean wizard from tidying up, resulting in a flash goblin cave). Goblin wizards may rarely or never shower, choosing to fester in a cake of their own dead skin, which turns either a pale green or black/brown depending on how much their body can get rid of on its own.

Common traits of a goblin wizard's environment are stacked urine bottles, rotting food scraps, cramped "cockpit" style battlestations, no natural light, cobwebs, and even indisposed toiletries. Extreme goblin environments may be built in a crawlspace, closet, attic, trailer, or any other place which normally wouldn't see a vacuum. A goblin wizard may be forced in to adopting a minimalist living environment which contains no more than a lone PC and nest, either out of financial hold backs or influence from a dependee, but a goblin wizard will always, if left to his own devices, form a physical barrier of filth between him and the outside world.

Goblin wizards are considered to hold liberal worldviews, as their reputation as filthmongers supports the idea that they may be active users of or at least indifferent to Glass Wizards and other sex toys. While the mess resulting from assplays may be a turn off for other curious wizards, the goblin is known to collect and adore such filth, leading to the belief that no true goblin doesn't pleasure himself with household objects every night. The title of goblin is not persuaded by the moral alignment of a magical being. Some goblins may be putrefacting rotting warlocks, while others may be gentle swamp spirits. Goblins never work as their presentation is unhirable in modern times, even for someone working with waste. A wizard who has no standards for cleanliness may be in a situation where they are incapable of building a suitable nest or battlestation that reflects their green skin. They may be forced to attend school, not live on their own, or receive visits from government workers.


Goblin wizards may choose such a lifestyle for reasons involving traditionalism, protest, self-harm, or self-improvement. It is considered that goblining is a form of going medieval, disposing of modern standards and adopting a classic, easier way of life. Some goblins choose a filthy life as a way of distancing themselves from normal people, as a way of cementing the fact that they are not normal in not only social activity, but even the most personal and private of manners. Depression or apathy may be a driving force for the collection of filth, as the otherwise clean wizard may stop seeing himself as deserving to live in a neat environment. Some goblins act out on their goblin ways as a means of strengthening themselves by forcing a harsh environment on to their bodies and minds to develop thicker skin towards disgusting situations.