Despatches from Wizchan

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The following is a selection of excerpts of posts edited for clarity.

I feel so scared, and I am all alone.

Meds only make it worse. It makes you feel like a doll with no soul. There is no cure for depression. For some, it goes away with time. For others, it follows them forever - sometimes weaker, sometimes stronger but it's still there.

Transferring a small fraction of my "life" to their minds would make smug normies [sic] kill themselves.

People like you don't get it, living with losing cards is not a life. It's bare existence.

I am a weak man and life has been too much for me to handle, but I dream of the day when the constant racing thoughts in my mind will be silent and the aches and pains of my physical body will hurt no more.

I can't even control my own bodily functions: I masturbate even when I don't want to; I eat dead animals even when I could do without them; I care when I really shouldn't. There is no logical reason to put myself above the average human, and yet I continue to think highly of myself.

The only people that live happy lives are the ones that don't understand how the sausages are made, or they just don't fucking care.

I just stopped caring outwardly, while my brain is winning some anxiety championship.

I don't want to adapt to their world.

I'm not surprised by myself anymore. Took me some time to realise that, but I did all this to escape the pain that was always in me. Am still trying.

Well I don't know if understanding solves anything. If you have a thorough understanding of how hopeless it all is. Then nothing to do but mope.

My parents are not bad people after all. If I blame them for my birth, they will blame my grandparents and so on until the first cell. Therefore all this hate is pointless.

>When did you stop noticing the passage of time? Many years ago. My days, weeks, months, and years blend together. They make a muddy color.

There's discrimination everywhere in life, even here unfortunately. It's all just one big competition.

I had Fantasy for childhood, Ambition for youth, Ideals as a young man, and Escapism as an adult.

Worse is the assumption that the problem is temporary. They just shove your situation out of the way and tell you to adjust your feelings to fit their judgements.

And it is so powerful we can't acknowledge all the time something that we can't go against, that is not on the same level as we are.

I trust wizard judgement no more than I trust anyone else's. In my experience everyone is equally full of shit and equally tainted by their own self-affirming misconceptions. There are no free pats on the back here.

It's a positive spiral. The problem is that the spiral is not as easy to enter as they make it sound. "Just do it" is the only normie advice that's valid. Either you "just do it" or you never do.

Life is the process of enjoying less and less and learning how to deal with pain more and more.

I'm a fatass, but I'm starved of meaning. Maybe sitting on my fat ass reading existentialist pessimism all day is why I'm a fatass and not a mobile doer.

Bargaining with neurotypicals as a neuroatypical doesn't work. They already assign a low value to everything that comes out of your mouth because they use societal gauging mechanisms for self worth.

You never run out of things to do, but it's the capacity to enjoy things that goes away with age.

Nobody wants to die. They just don't want the life they are forced to lead.

The topic of belief leads to the topic of epistemology, which is a dangerous road to travel here. A wanker shall soon emerge, calling you the Devil in his own, unique way.

What a decadent I am. Can I really judge normies [sic]? Every hedonist pleasure that was availible to a virgin NEET I indulged in.

The grim reality of material reality disgusts me. My spirituality is hatred for living in a Darwinian universe.

Life is just a calculus of pleasures and pains. And there just wasn't enough joy in my life, to justify the disutility of wageslaving to stay alive.

I feel like a million bucks. That is to say, no intrinsic worth, dirty, and only cared about because you can get someone something they want.

Ignorance is bliss, but the thing nobody actually says is that ignorance can only be maintained mutually. That's why we were all doomed from the start. I'm afraid once the spell is broken, you can't put it back together.

Being quiet is not a virtue, it's an invitation for bullying and permanent disadvantage. Sadly, this insight would've been so much more useful many years ago.

Simply put, modern society consists of hard workers, people who want to work but aren't allowed to, and parasites who pretend it's the others who are the true parasites. No, I don't feel bad for not volunteering to be a host to them.